So last week, I turned 32
I don’t like to celebrate and do anything special, other than doing things I already love. Which right now is, travelling and hustling
On a beautiful sunny evening in Dubrovnik, Croatia, I stepped up calendar-wise. I didn’t mean to make it special, but somehow it did become special
How do I feel?
I like that I am free from some of the human made boundaries. Of all the things I’ve worked on in last year, most of it was to be free. Free from employment, or VISA uncertainties, or dependencies
It’s also addictive and once you taste it, you’re probably never going back. But also, at this point I’m not sure if it’s right, or wrong
I’ve tried to make a balance in my life that prioritizes on peace and fulfillment. Not having unreal connections or noise keeps my life peaceful, while doing the things I love keeps me content
Something has changed in me in last couple of months, specially after March end, have got me asking questions on a level which I hadn’t had a privilege of before. Don’t want to write anything about it, it’s a good change
Grateful
I’ve always been, and will always be grateful, for a lot of things. For why I am the way I am, and all the things of past that helped me to be this person. For having people in my life who keep me grounded, sane and make my life more vivid
It’s no less than luck or blessing to have such environment around me which helps me nurture, grow yet keep me rooted
State of mind
In last couple years, I’ve learnt or accepted few things. One and the most important is, the soul fulfillment of spreading or giving love is more than anything. And so, in my own ways I do that. I try
I’m not sure of recieving it, and I don’t care much about it now anyways. But, in all the ways I can, I want to spread all the love I have in me. And not in a romantic or forced or sane way of the society, but in a deeper, selfless, doing without saying way
And ironically, instead of emptying me, it fills me with more love :)
And when I’m not doing that, I’m doing things that either bring me closer to myself, or things that satisfy my soul, my own being
Detachment
This is something I don’t really want to write, but I’ll just leave it out here. In last year or so, there have been situations where all I could do is detach. I’ve been very grateful to attract people in my life, who have expressed for me feelings which are pure and selfless
In a world where everyone wants something, I’ve crossed paths with people who had nothing but pure intentions for me, and had only to give
And the only thing I could do is detach. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I’ve been so far away in my journey that I have clarity, and so I protect(or atleast try to), not me, but the intentions of those around me
And yet, that’s not enough, not enough to not hurt sentiments of them. It’s something that’ll help them in the long run
Next
While I know why I am doing what I am doing at this point of time. In the bigger picture I don’t know where I am supposed to head
And so, I’ll do it moment by moment. I hope I stay grounded, and that nothing in this world gets on me, more than the divinity