When you grow up from a kid to teenager, you see things in your school or in your neighbourhood and you know what things you definitely don't want to do or be.
I have been going through the same phase since years now and I am collecting a bucket list of traits I don't want in me when I grow up. All of these traits have been a result of experiences I've been through and mostly from people who're really close to me which actually is a sad thing, but it's what it is.
A guy who takes things for granted
There are very few of married guys I know who actually behave when they say house-work is not a gender role. I definitely think it's not. I am not saying I do all my work, like washing clothes or making my own food. My mother does cooking for me. But when I think of it, I believe it's not her JOB to cook, or do the dishes, or anything. She does that out of love.
Similarly, my father has never in my life asked me to go out to get groceries, or vegetables, or do shopping for home. It's not his JOB to get Maggie packets that I want to eat, or notebook that I asked him to get. He's doing it out of responsibility and love.
I believe all of these should be my personal job and should be done by me. If your father, mother, siblings, friends are doing something for you then it's definitely out a favour and shouldn't be taken for granted.
I've different level of gratitude for all of the things I've had because of others, and I am constantly trying to reduce this and progressing in a way I handle all my things.
A guy without patience
One thing that's always in my constant learning list is Patience, it's very important and hard to learn trait.
Life throws at you all sorts of situations, seasons, tastes, smells and people. The ability to remain calm and be rational at the moment is a super-power.
I've experienced couples losing their calm in the middle of the crowded market. I've seen people losing their temper in the middle of a party, to the point of almost throwing glass on another person.
I feel for such people, I never want to be that person. It's hard to control the temper at severe situations but it's important, and very. Because most times you'll end up regretting things you say when you're angry.
I would personally choose to walk out of such situation instead of saying or doing something.
A guy who's tired of saying "thank you"
The guy in the restaurant today who got me the Thukpa(Himachali dish) I ate, his hands were slightly shivering while he placed the bowl on the table. It might be his job to serve people, but there's no reason not to thank people who are helping you or making your life easier.
Photo: View from the restaurant I tried Thupka at
Yesterday I was going to Dal Lake which is 3km steep walk from my stay. I planned to do the walk and got little skeptic of taking wrong decision of walking. While I was on the way, an auto was about to cross. I stopped the auto to ask the driver if I was heading in the right direction(Google Maps doesn't work well here in Pahadi areas). He confirmed the direction, I said thanks. Right before he was about to pass, he asked if I wanted to go somewhere, that moment I decided I can take the auto and I said yes. He said he's dropping the passenger close-by and will come in 2 mins. 2 mins later I was in his auto and he was taking me to Dal Lake, quite far which I later realised when he dropped me there.
I don't know why I shared the story, but I feel it's a very liberating thing to do. A simple "thank you" or "shukriya" can make someone smile, and that I think is a good deed.
A guy who would intentionally hurt others
It's very common, the 20 to 30 age is full of temporary people. I've seen a lot of people using others, or making false promises, claims and what not.
It's a very sad thing. Live your life the way you want to, live it to the fullest, do everything that makes you happy. Isn't that life all about? Yes.
But if your happiness saddens some other person, or you don't have good intentions for other person, then it's not a good thing to do. For you it might be a quick or easy thing to do, but for the other it can be that part of their life they wish they never have been through or have ever seen. No one deserves that, not you or any other person.
I'm not a perfect person, I'm learning all of the above and wish to be intact on my believes. They keep me sane when the world around me isn't that beautiful.